Transient
by Kazahana Fujikaze
Summary: The Sakurazukamori finds himself in the company of an amnesiac ghost he can't seem to exorcise. Post X1999.
1. Uncertain Memory

Disclaimer: Sumeragi Subaru belongs to CLAMP. The only thing I own is the ghost and the storyline.

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**1. Uncertain Memory**

"Maybe it's because I was a priestess."

Subaru wasn't sure that he knew how to scowl anymore, but any attempt to would have been appreciated at the moment.

"Possibly," he muttered.

The Sakurazukamori was at his wits end at this particular ghost. She could not be exorcised nor could he feed her soul to the Sakura (considering that he couldn't exactly bury a soul). The ghost simply drifted about, as though she was still very much alive, though dressed very radically in an outfit that Subaru would think Hokuto would conceive if she decided to dress up like a Shinto priestess.

"What's your name?" Subaru ventured to ask.

Knowing the ghost's name would make things easier, he thought. Every person had at least two names - one used in life and one used after death. For practitioners of Subaru's field, they had at least three.

"It's much harder to get rid of a person once you know their name," the ghost said lightly.

Subaru said nothing and slumped down against the bark of the Sakura. It didn't seem too pleased this somewhat exotic ghost couldn't join its many tortured souls.

"Tell me your name first," the ghost said.

"Sakurazuka Subaru."

"Your real name, please."

Subaru blinked.

"Sumeragi Subaru."

Surely Subaru had learned by now the importance of not giving one's true name away. But at this point in his life, he didn't really care about the consequences. If anything, he could actually deal with those consequences without too much trouble now. And if he couldn't, well, he didn't really care enough about his own life.

"How ironic…" the ghost murmured, "You and the former Sakurazukamori had a rather tragic relationship."

Subaru glared at her with his mismatched eyes, one a faded grey-green and the other hawk-like and golden. This ghost knew a little too much about some things and not enough about others.

"Is that glare on your face an opportunity to show me your beautiful eyes?" the ghost remarked calmly.

Subaru said nothing. It was a mistake, giving her his real name. Nothing could be done about it now. The ghost drifted about for a moment, expressionless as usual. How did this ghost know about Seishirou?

"Ayafuya Kioku," the ghost finally answered.

"That's not a real name."

"I'm not a real person anymore," the ghost countered, "especially since I can't quite recall who I was anyway."

"'Uncertain memory'?" Subaru remarked, "Is that what you want me to call you?"

The ghost nodded and said nothing. Subaru sighed for the first time in a long time. Never had he been exasperated like this in all his recent memory.

"May I…" the ghost hesitated, "Stay with you? For the time being?"

Subaru got up and brushed some Sakura petals off his black clothes. He said nothing.

"Until I remember something about myself?"

"Whatever you wish."

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Disclaimer: I own exactly one character. Subaru, on the other hand, belongs to CLAMP.


	2. Useful

Disclaimer: See chapter 1. The ending's weird... but the next few chapters are better (though rather detached...)

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**2. Useful**

For the most part, Subaru didn't mind in the least he had a ghost following him around. She spoke very little (rather quietly when she did), didn't need to eat, could sleep just about any where, and mostly kept to herself. In effect, it was like Subaru had a roommate he didn't really need to give a damn about. It was almost comforting to know there was always someone around, but would never bother him. Well, except in once sense...

"Why do you follow me around?"

Kioku made no answer. Since their initial meeting, she had spoken about ten complete sentences. Subaru didn't press for an answer. His apathy was stronger than his curiosity.

"Because you smell like cherry blossoms."

Subaru looked at her mildly. "Is that all?"

The ghost didn't say anything and merely walked about with soundless footsteps. She still wore her crazy white outfit, equipped with a nice white hood to conceal her face and sunglasses to hide her eyes. Subaru watched her black boots silently touch the ground.

"No."

They were on the rooftop of Subaru's apartment building. She hopped onto the ledge and stared at the skyline. Being a ghost, she had no fear of falling. He sat down on the ledge and stared aimlessly at the grey sky as well. The sky was grey like him. Empty and ambigious. And cold. That's what he was, a grey sky.

"I don't really know why else."

She walked along the ledge.

"Maybe I've become one of those birds which attach themselves to the first thing they see when they hatch from their eggs."

The Sakurazukamori was a solitary figure, so it was rather unusual to have such constant company. It was somewhat useful having her around, he mused, after all, it made detect those with spiritual powers easier to detect. How many could see a sharply contrasting dead Shinto priestess accompanying a melancholy young man dressed all in black in a long trench coat? It made picking victims easier. Those with spiritual powers satisfied the Sakura longer than those without. That was good in Subaru's opinion; it meant he didn't need to feed the Sakura as often.

"Why don't you haunt someone else?"

There wasn't any bitterness or annoyance in his voice. It was rare moment where Subaru was curious about anything.

"Am I haunting you?" Kioku looked at him curiously.

The typical silence sat between them.

"What difference does it make?" the ghost said calmly, "If I haunt someone else, they'll call you up to exorcise me."

She was right. It seemed that either way, Subaru would have to run into her eventually. And he would not be any more likely to exorcise her then than he had during their first encounter.

He sat down on the ledge of a roof, staring aimlessly at the grey sky. His cell phone rang, breaking the silence. He didn't answer it. It was a while before he decided to check who had called. Just another client wanting his supernatural abilities.

"Another exorcism?"

Subaru nodded and descended from the building, leaping down as inconspiciously as possible. Whether onmyouji or assassin, being incognito from the rest of the normal world was obligatory. It was esoteric knowledge that Sumeragi Subaru was the 13th Head of the Sumeragi clan. Almost no one knew he was the current Sakurazukamori.

The ghost followed him silently as he drifted about the streets in the rain as just another anonymous young man. The occasional person may have looked back at him once or twice, but Subaru made note of those whose gazes lingered, often in confusion or disbelief. Those would could hear silent footsteps like he did. Those who knew the business of the Sakurazukamori did not live long. If Subaru never saw them again, they would be free to continue their lives as they were. On the other hand... an encounter with him may be inevitable and brief.

There are no coincidences, only inevitabilities.

"It's going to rain," commented Kioku.

Subaru didn't care, but when she found an umbrella and offered it to him, he didn't refuse it.


	3. Insanity

Author's note: Madness, violins, and chess was an idea inspired by The Black Violin by Maxence Fermine. In case you don't understand the minutes thing, white gets 6 mins and black gets five as a time limit for making their moves in Armageddon chess.

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**3. Insanity**

It takes a touch of madness to play chess. Intelligence is obligatory as well, but madness helps. Subaru took lit a cigarette and moved his bishop.

"Check."

His translucent opponent moved a pawn to take his rook. Subaru stared at the black and white pieces on the board of sixty-four squares. The rules of western chess were less complicated than shogi, but that didn't change the difficulty of play. If he wasn't already mad, then he would never win. Winning a game of chess against the ghost wasn't impossible, it just didn't occur very often.

"You aren't trying," remarked Kioku.

He had taken her knight. Ironic that the lady in white played with the black pieces and the assassin in black was using the white. It was because Kioku had insisted on playing Armageddon.

"Why?" Subaru recalled himself asking.

"Because I have nothing to lose, therefore, it makes more sense that I do not need to win," Kioku had said simply, "You, on the other hand, must win because you still have something to lose."

"Three minutes."

Kioku stared at her pieces for a moment. A violinist could be heard in the background.

"Does he play that sad song because he's going to die tonight?" she murmured.

The next victim of the Sakurazukamori was to be the itinerant violinist in the park. Why? Subaru supposed it was because the violinist was as mad as he was. It took madness to play with such passion and skill and yet still manage to live. Music, like chess, required a touch of insanity.

"Perhaps," Subaru replied, "One minute."

She advanced her pawn.

"He's drunk."

"Only a touch," remarked Subaru, "I've seen him drink more sake than that."

As though speaking of the devil, the violinist stopped and took a swig of sake. Kioku winced at how freely he drank as Subaru took a puff on his cigarette. She stared at him and his made his move.

"Five minutes," he said, "and don't bother telling me smoking is bad for my health."

Her queen took his. "Six minutes."

The violinist began again, his lonely solo in the park. Subaru took Kioku's pawn.

"Check."

Her king made its first move. He moved his bishop to protect his own. The violinist was playing one of Bach's suites for the cello. A musician playing an alto's part on a soprano instrument that brilliantly took talent.

"He really is mad."

Subaru was tempted to knock over his king now. Kioku's rook and queen were in the perfect position to strike. She didn't need to win; a draw would do quite nicely to end the game.

"Check."

Kioku listened to the haunting and melancholy melody the violinst played. Dusk was approaching. Subaru sacrificed his knight to protect a pawn. Kioku lost her second knight. Subaru put out his cigarette and knocked over his king. She won again. She would likely insist on the same conditions again the next time they played.

"You weren't trying, were you?" she remarked.

The ghost sat there calmly as Subaru approached the violinist, now playing the last notes of the suite. There was a snap, the sound of the violin strings breaking. Subaru picked up the instrument with his free hand.

"Checkmate."

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Author: Reviews, anyone please? I feel so pathetic asking... I also don't think this is story is very good, which is why I hope for some critique.


	4. Inconsistently

Author: I own exactly one character. Subaru belongs to Clamp.

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**4. Inconsistently**

"What do you know of Seishirou-san?"

Kioku was sitting in the Sakura tree catching petals in her hands. The Sakura was quite content for the moment and did not mind in the least that someone who was neither victim nor the Sakurazukamori was sitting in the tree.

"No more than you do. Probably less."

"You mentioned him when we first met."

"I also said I don't remember much about myself."

Kioku tilted her head slightly, amused by the petals. Subaru was sitting down, back against the tree, and examining his bloody hand. Another victim for the tree, a homeless man. He was one of those fools who raved and ranting about the Second Coming, not realizing how close to the truth he was during 1999. Nobody cared about him. Not like Subaru, who turned his back on the people who cared. With the exception of a ghost.

"Blood doesn't stain black as well as white," remarked the ghost.

She was notably more talkative today. She also made it apparant she was observant.

'Black is void of any light reflecting off it,' Subaru thought.

A breeze caused the branches to sway and scattered petals, as though affirming Subaru's thought.

"You wear white."

"Ghosts can't be stained with blood."

"They can't kill anyone either."

"Then why do you exorcise them, Sumeragi Subaru?"

Why did he continue to exorcise spirits? Maybe it was to please his grandmother. Or perhaps it was for the income. Assassins weren't in high demand these days, at least in Tokyo.

"Why can't a ghost be exorcised, Ayafuya Kioku?"

Kioku had caught enough petals so that when she released them from her hands, they rained down on Subaru's head.

"Sakurazuka Seishirou-san was the former Sakurazukamori," she said, "He killed his mother and worked as a veterinarian. He smoked. He killed your sister. He was a Dragon of Earth. He gave you your right eye."

So she decided to finally answer his question.

"Is that all you know?"

A cherry blossom landed in his hand.

"No."

"What else did you know?"

Kioku didn't answer. She gracefully leapt down from the tree, scattering cherry blossoms everywhere.

"I won't say and I can't say," she replied, "except he was killed by someone who loved him."

Subaru grimaced at her comment and wondered if that was true.

"You are very inconsistent with what you know and don't know."

"I suppose."

She was staring at the branches of the tree. "I wonder if he's the reason why I'm dead. If that were the case though, I would be just another victim of the Sakura, wouldn't I?"

Her eyes suddenly fell on him instead and Subaru noticed for the first time that her translucent eyes were black, or something like it.

"Some say that Death is cold and emotionless," she remarked, "I used to wonder, maybe the Sakurazukamori was the embodiment of that, the previous one, I mean. But even though he acted like he was like that, he wasn't quite like that. He didn't seem to fit that stereotype. He was really selfish, wasn't he?"

That was question with a somewhat obvious answer. It still didn't explain the question Subaru wanted the answer to, nor did it answer the question beneath it. He found himself oddly curious today

"Who are you exactly?" Subaru asked.

She didn't answer and only sighed. She disappeared, leaving Subaru alone. Alone, like he was so often in his life now. No Hokuto. No Kamui. None of the other Dragons of Heaven. Most of all, no Seishirou. Another blossom drifted past his eyes.

'How does she know about Seishirou?' Subaru wondered to himself.

He supposed she would only tell him on the day she moved on. He got up and disappeared himself, in a cloud of petals.

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Author: Thank you to _helo_ for the review (you are wonderful). It made me very happy to know that my story isn't really bad. I'm afraid the character development is still in... for lack of a better word, development.

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	5. Liberation

Author's Note: Longest chapter yet. Check chapter 1 if you really want to read the disclaimer.

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**5. Liberation**

"Crazy witch…"

Subaru stared at the sheet of paper. What kind of task was this? And didn't she have that assistant of hers?

He and the ghost began to ascend the 108 steps that would lead to the top of the temple.

_"Dear Sumeragi Subaru-kun,_

_Long time no see! I'm sure you remember me (don't you dare say you don't)! Say, I need you to do a favour for me…"_

'What kind of favour is this?' muttered Subaru as he stuffed the sheet of paper into his pocket.

"Is she a friend of yours?" Kioku asked mildly.

"An acquaintance."

Subaru suddenly wondered if Hokuto's strange sense of fashion may have been inspired by her. The ghost looked slightly amused.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just that she refers to you as Sumeragi-kun."

Subaru shook his head. The ghost was obviously in a good mood today, but at least she wasn't that talkative.

_"…seeing as you don't have much to do these days, there's a temple I want you to visit. I would do it myself, but…"_

But?"

"It's because this isn't a place she can touch without crossing space."

Once again, he wondered why that woman hadn't sent her assistant. The assistant would probably have thought it was an obscure region of his Tokyo. But sending people across time and even space took quite a bit of magic. And her magic was available only for a price. The assistant was practically indentured to her now.

The temple was a rather desolate place and the monks were asleep. Not that there were many monks there to begin with.

_"…there's something I want you to liberate for me..."_

"Why does she want it?"

"Don't know."

To be honest, he didn't care either.

Kioku wandered over to a large maple tree. She suddenly pointed at something.

"A storehouse…"

Subaru pushed open the door and looked inside. It was mostly filled old tomes and relics. Nothing Subaru hadn't seen back when he lived in Kyoto.

"Look."

The floor was wet. Kioku shivered.

'Shivering?' Subaru walked towards the source of the dust. 'Ghosts don't shiver, do they?'

A face stared at Subaru with blood red eyes. A thin spirit was weeping.

"A monk?" the spirit mumbled.

Subaru stared coldly at the spirit, his arms coiled around a vase. The vase was black and cracked, exactly what Subaru and Kioku were looking for. The spirit coughed, dispersing a cloud of dust into the air.

"No... you're no monk. What do you want?" the spirit snarled, "Thieves... after my vase... well... I'm not letting go... never..."

Subaru stared at him expressionlessly.

"Give me the vase," Subaru said coolly, "You have no reason to keep it."

Kioku shivered again. The dark room was getting blacker. The dust in the air made everything only dimmer and harder to see. It was like looking at a high contrast black and white image, the kind that made you dizzy and messed up your vision.

"I have every reason to keep it, fool," the spirit muttered.

"Why is vase so important?" Subaru asked, boredom etching into his voice, "It's no different from a cup. It's just another object that can be broken."

The spirit looked angrily at him. "Because… it's the only reason I have to stay here. The only reason I have to live… You can't possible understand... being alive..."

"Why?" It was Kioku who asked this time.

"I'll be forgotten," the spirit said sadly, "this vase I made for her is all that's left. She left it behind... discarded it."

Subaru's face darkened at the thought. How many of them were forced to live even when all they wanted to do was die? All so someone else could live on in their memories? Sorata… Karen… Kamui… Hokuto… Seishirou… they died knowing that they could live on in someone else's memory. Being forgotten was more difficult than a person realized. But what of those left behind?

"At least you know who you were," Kioku said with a melancholy look on her face, "You know why you want to stay in this world."

Subaru grabbed the vase. The spirit snarled viciously. Subaru stared hard at him with mismatched eyes. The spirit shrank back.

"Move on," Subaru said darkly, "Everyone will be forgotten eventually. It's a fact of life. You worry about being forgotten, but you have no idea how painful it is for those who remember you."

He calmed down. Kioku stopped shivering for a moment.

"Do you think… she remembered me?" the spirit asked timidly, "Do you think it hurt her to remember me?"

"Maybe she gave away the vase because of you," Kioku said quietly, "So she wouldn't be hurt every time she saw it and recalled you."

The spirit released its grip on the vase and sighed. It seemed like forever before anyone spoke again.

"Then I want to see her again."

Well, there was no sense burying him under the Sakura without a body. Subaru closed his eyes and murmured a chant. The spirit dissolved into a sparkling dust. There was a breeze and then complete silence.

"He's gone now…" remarked Kioku, "Why is the air still shimmering?"

Subaru opened his eyes. The vase was effervescing with sparkling dust. When he reached for it again, it cracked and a brilliant light filled the storeroom. Kioku stared in amazement as the vase became what the spirit had intended it to be: a beautiful vase with a daffodil pattern effervescing pure chi.

"A high moon urn," commented Subaru, "I suppose it's time to send it to her shop."

He picked up the vase and walked out of the storehouse as silently as possible. Under the light of the full moon, Subaru held up an o-fuda and muttered a spell. He stuck in on the vase and dropped the sparkling relic into the temple's reflecting pool. He watched silently as it sank into the dark pool, leaving in its wake glittering bubbles.

"Your pocket is shimmering."

Subaru reached into his pocket and pulled out the note. It twisted itself into the shape of a butterfly and flapped itself open. Her handwriting had rearranged itself.

_"Your efforts were much appreciated, Sumeragi-kun. Tell your new friend I said hi!  
_

_- Ichihara Yuuko._

_P.S. You get one free wish next time we meet, okay?"_

'No wish will ever get me what I want, Yuuko-san,' Subaru thought grimly.

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Author: I got stuck on ideas and a crossover seemed like a good idea. 


	6. Consider

Author's Note: Ugh. Everytime I hear consider I remember back to when I was fifteen and in math class. That teacher would always say: consider. Yay! Two for one.

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**6. Consider**

'One wish...'

Wishes were something that Subaru had given up on since he knew that his own could never be granted.

"You can have it."

The ghost looked at him curiously.

"Have what?"

He tossed her the crumpled note and she studied it for a minute.

"One free wish?"

"You could use it for something, I'm sure."

"But... it's only good for a wish equivalent to what you've done."

Subaru closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. Wishes were something only two people would go out of their way to grant: 'Kamui' of the Dragons of the Earth and the Witch of Dimensions.

"Um..."

The ghost was kneeling on the floor. She folded the note neatly, smoothing it out as it did. Kioku bowed and pushed the note back to him.

"I cannot accept this, Sakurazuka-san."

Subaru reached for the note, his hand clawing unusually loudly on the floor until he felt the scrap of paper and shoved it in his pocket again.

"You have nothing you want?"

She nodded (though somewhat it was a somewhat redundant action). Subaru opened an eye, the right one.

"You're lying."

Bent over like that and with a hood over her head, one would wonder how Subaru could tell. She opened her eyes wide. Had she really lied?

"You do have a wish."

Kioku looked up, startled at Subaru. The grey-green eye was half-shut and she stared somewhat hypnotically at the golden one.

"Don't you want to remember who you were? Who you are?" he said in a slow voice, "And move on to the next world?"

Subaru stood up. He was not a tall man, but with his back to the window and dressed all in black, he towered over Kioku. She couldn't move, maybe because Subaru's spiritual presence had become suddenly very strong. Or perhaps it was because she was quite alarmed at the moment.

"Why do you stay here?" he said in the same slow voice, "Why are you so uncertain?"

He bent over and lifted her chin.

"Tell me."

The ghost's eyes were wide.

"I don't know." she said timidly.

"Really?"

Her eyes shifted back and forth. A petal drifted by.

"What do _you_ want?" he demanded quietly.

She didn't answer immediately. 'What did she want?' She couldn't even say for sure why she wanted to stay in this world or why she chose to follow Sumeragi Subaru around. She wasn't even sure if it was because she wanted to remember who she was anymore.

"I just want to stay," she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"I want to stay _here_!" she said firmly, "I don't know _why_! I don't know why with you specifically either."

Subaru smiled strangely at her and backed away, sitting down again. He closed his eyes.

The ghost was not sure what to make of what had just happened. It was a horribly familiar feeling, one she was certain she had experienced before. She forced herself to calm down and studied the serene look on Subaru's face.

"I'm sorry."

Kioku blinked. He opened his eyes, the serene look gone and now expressionless again.

"I'm sorry?"

"Consider what you can do with this wish," he said, "You might have been able to get one memory back."

She didn't answer. He looked up ruefully.

"Consider."

She shook her head vehemently.

"No."

Subaru lit a cigarette.

"It seems like a waste..." the ghost said very quietly, "... if neither of us has a wish that can be granted."

He exhaled. "You can stay as long as you want. It makes no difference to me."

It then she realized that you become what you wish for.

"I don't have any wishes," he said bluntly, "As for you? That's up to you."


	7. Understand

Author's note: Subaru remembers Hokuto's words all too well. Oh, and some people actually do remember that ghost lady from the beginning of Tokyo Babylon. Yay for her. Oh, I didn't research the actual architecture of the Tokyo Tower, so please don't be offended (though according to Shann Nix, that isn't my problem...)

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** 7. Understand **_(Nobody)_

"How foolish."

Some people looked at Subaru and wondered how anyone could speak so callously. A poor man was planning to commit suicide! Jumping off Tokyo Tower... the last time anyone had done something like that was some poor woman about ten years ago. A few recalled that she was an actress of some sort... This man, who was he exactly? A disillusioned photographer or something? Probably not married.

Subaru ignored them all and strode past them. He had already been through this before. This time, he would not bother being kind. Slipping past the police around the tower was a little harder, but it was still relatively simple thanks to the many gifts Seishirou bestowed on him. Subaru subconsciously covered his right eye at the thought.

"Or a curse."

"You like to speak at inappropriate times."

Kioku was immediately silent. They ascended the tower without another word.

* * *

When the police appeared on the scene later, everyone was absolutely perplexed. They saw the blood on the floor and the bullet in the wall. But there was no body. There was a gun, but no signs that another person had been present. The man had simply disappeared.

A girl was sobbing violently at the scene as a paramedic tried to comfort her.

"Kotetsu!" she sobbed, "Why? Where are you?"

The girl dropped to the ground, clutching a photograph of herself and the young man who should have been on the floor with the crimson pool.

* * *

"Who's there?"

A young man with blood shot eyes stared at Subaru. He was clearly not pleased that he now had some unexpected company.

"What do you two want?" he snarled, "Are you with the police? Some psychologists?"

Subaru's eyebrow rose at how the man refered to his only clearly visible intruder in the plural.

"No."

"Why are you here, then?"

The man pointed a gun at Kioku.

"Get out of here or I'll shoot her."

"Go right ahead."

The man's eyes went wide and he ran a hand through his messy black hair. He turned the gun on Subaru.

"You don't care about your friend? How about yourself? You wanna die here with me?"

"Is what you want to die?" Subaru said in a bored voice, "or is what you want attention?"

"What are you talking about?"

"There are other ways of getting attention, ways that actually last longer than a fleeting moment," Subaru said briskly, "Now if you want to die, that's why I'm here."

"What kind of new age psycho babble is this?" the man shouted.

"Please calm down," Kioku said softly.

"Get out of here," the man spat, "I want to do this alone."

Subaru stared at him. There was an awkward silence and the man lowered his gun hesitantly. He moved towards the edge of the platform, backwards.

"Does anyone care about you?" Kioku asked, "Anyone at all? Would they be sad if you died?"

The man shook his head violently and pointed his gun at Kioku again. Subaru took step forward.

"Shut up!"

The man fired his gun. The sound of the gunshot was nothing compared to how loud it was when the gun clattered onto the ground moments later.

* * *

"Kotetsu..." she cried, "Why didn't you tell me? If you had shared your pain, split your burdens, you could have stood on your own... and not fallen on your knees like this..."

Her distress was so evident that not one person noticed the few cherry blossoms petals soaked in blood dissolve and disappear.

* * *

Kotetsu had been staring at Kioku in shock.

"That's not possible..."

Kioku turned and glanced at the bullet in the wall.

"How can you be... still?"

"She's dead." Subaru grabbed Kotetsu's neck with one hand. "Like you will be a few minutes."

"Let... go..." Kotetsu gasped.

There was blood on the floor. The last thing he saw were the expressionless mismatched eyes of a young man who appeared before him in his final hours.

"Yuki..." he murmured, "... I'm sorry... but..."

Kotetsu's voice was gone, but his mouth was still moving silently. Subaru couldn't read lips, but he could tell what the young man was saying.

But the Sakurazukamori's task was complete. Another person he didn't care about. Another person who left someone else with unhappy memories in their heart.

* * *

"I could have understood your pain!" she shouted, "Kotetsu! Where are you?"

Someone attempted to comfort her and take her away from the scene and down from the tower. Instead, she ran to the window.

"Why did you not let me feel as you did?" she whispered.

* * *

In the shadows of the girders of the tower, where they could not be seen, was a pale ghost in white, Kotetsu's crimson stained body, and a thin young man dressed in a long black trenchcoat. They could hear the wails of Yuki nearby.

"So he did have someone who cared," Kioku remarked, glancing at Kotetsu's body without the slightest apprehension, "I wonder why he couldn't hear that girl's voice?"

The Sakurazukamori sighed and tossed a burning cigarette from girder he was leaning against.

"Because, nobody can ever feel the same pain," he replied in a hollow voice, "No one."


	8. Image

Author: After a chapter that had no character development, here is a chapter that does! (Insert range of funny faces made by author). I was remembering how I hate catching colds when I wrote this, but it turned into this. Also, thank you for the many kind reviews (wow, 13 now... that's Subaru's lucky number... ). They make me very happy.**

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**

**8. Omokage (Image) **

Subaru sneezed. The Sakura scattered about a million petals as he did. The ghost said nothing as usual, but Subaru had known her long enough to be able to guess what she was thinking. Or perhaps Subaru was still human enough to guess.

"I'm not."

The ghost didn't smile and didn't say anything. She walked around the tree in circles over and over again.

"Maybe…" Kioku began.

Subaru ignored her and began brushing cherry blossoms off his head.

"… home."

Subaru eyed her rather scathingly. "What did you say?"

"Perhaps it would be best if you went home?" she repeated.

The Sakura was as close to home as anywhere. After all, that's where Subaru had buried his heart.

He said nothing, but reluctantly gave into her suggestion and trudged back to his dark apartment. He could hear her silent footsteps gently behind him.

* * *

If Subaru cared enough, he would have blamed his latest victim, some girl who so desperately wanted to go out and find her lost cat that she ran out in the rain and wandered around for hours until she ran into Subaru, who had found the cat. 

The grateful girl sealed her fate as soon as she thanked Subaru and said good bye to not only the Sakurazukamori, but also his not-quite present companion as well. Since the Sakura was hungry and Subaru wasn't feeling particularly picky about who would dye the Sakura's petals pink at the moment, the girl's reunion with Fluffy-chan was cut short and as an added bonus, the Sakura would be satisfied for at least a week since the girl had some spiritual capacities.

However, Subaru's depressing existence was made slightly more unpleasant than usual now that he had caught a cold.

'If Seishirou were here…' Subaru thought, '… he would be laughing at me right now.'

The Sakurazukamori was sick and there was nothing he could do about it. He sat up on his futon and stared at the rain through his window.

"You should lie down," the ghost remarked, "I think you have a fever."

He felt hot all over, but shivered nevertheless. He vaguely recalled his grandmother telling him that the dead are never wrong.

"Go away."

Kioku tilted her head slightly. It took some getting used seeing her translucent eyes. It was familiar colour. Not warm, but empty and hollow.

"Leave me alone."

She looked curiously at him for a moment with her expressionless eyes. Kioku silently disappeared, leaving him alone and staring at the rain.

The light from outside only kept getting dimmer and dimmer until everything was black. He blinked until he was not sure if he was actually blinking anymore. Oblivion. The colour of oblivion was best. It was the colour of nothingness.

* * *

_"I had an interesting dream last night, Subaru-chan!" _

_Subaru looked blankly at Hokuto, who was hovering over where he sat. He was holding a mirror. For a moment, he could see his face and Hokuto's in it at the same time. It was odd, almost sad, that they didn't look alike anymore. His reflection was moving, but he wasn't._

_"I met someone... Hey! Aren't you listening? Let go of that old thing!" she retorted, "It doesn't work!"_

_"It reflects the soul," Subaru said._

_"It's broken! It's not reflecting anything!"_

_She was right. There was no reflection._

_"It won't work if the heart is sick," Subaru said flatly._

_"Mirrors can lie!" she shouted indignantly._

_"Not this one... my soul is empty."_

_"A soul is still there even if it's empty, Subaru!" Hokuto scoffed, "Is one soul ever more important than another?"_

_She grabbed the mirror, looking at it for a moment to see if they were both reflected in it. Sure enough, her bright eyes blinked back along with Subaru's mismatched dull ones. But there was no mirror; Hokuto was the reflection._

_"It is broken..." remarked Subaru, "We aren't reflections..."_

_"We never really were! You have your reflection and I have mine," she laughed._

_She took his hands and pulled him up from where he sat, still laughing merrily as she did._

_"Does a soul ever know where it needs to go?"_

* * *

"Does a soul ever know where it needs to go?" 

Subaru shook his head in response to Kioku's voice. "No," he muttered.

He blinked and realized that he had fallen asleep. The ghost, being her helpful self, had awkwardly pulled the blankets over him.

Subaru pulled it off and made himself a cup of green tea. It was still raining outside, but Subaru wasn't sneezing anymore and he no longer had a fever.

"Ayafuya Kioku?"

She was clearly gone. Subaru could not sense her spiritual presence any where in the apartment. Then how could she have... Subaru shook his head again at the thought.

"I wonder…"

* * *

Author: Hmm... I'm thinking Subaru seems slightly out of character. Anyone else's thoughts? By the way, we all know who Hokuto's "someone" from an interesting dream is, right? 


	9. Moment

Author: Continuing from the previously short chapter, another short chapter. Insert range of funny faces made by author. Apologies for lack of updates.

**

* * *

****9. Moment**

_"Subaru-kun, how could you? It's not like you to do shoddy work_!_ That urn didn't get to my shop directly and now that the ceramist got exorcised, that teasing vase decided to take a side trip and visit a Shinto shrine! Did you know I had to hire my friend at the "anything goes" store to get his assistants (who are clueless as mine is) to get it back? _

_For that, I am deducting the value of that wish! Might I add you have to use it or **else**?_

_- Ichihara Yuuko _

_P.S. I hope you're feeling better... colds are no fun..."_

Subaru made an odd face, eyes narrowed in disbelief. She was so childish, it was hard to believe she was older than him. He continued to walk, letting his facial features rearrange themselves back into his usual blank expression.

Anyways, that is what the crumpled note said now in rather spindly script remiscent of a butterfly. Subaru knew that she did not like people owing her anything (especially for White Day, he had learned the hard way never to accept anything from her) and that she did not like to owe people anything. It was the nature of her business after all...

He looked at the paper for a second, considering whether he should stuff it back into his pocket. Well, he wasn't having any luck on his own. Probably because of her odd nature. He wasn't too certain why he was even looking for Kioku, but he had nothing better to do.

"Why not?"

He pulled out the note and attached an ofuda to it. He tossed it into the air; it suddenly burst into flames. Oddly enough,the note floated back down, completely unsinged by the fire. The handwriting had rearranged itself.

_"Wish granted - Yuuko" _

The ofuda became a bird and took flight. Subaru sighed. So she was far away? The only thing that didn't bother him was that it had finally stopped raining.

* * *

"I've found you." 

The ghost looked at curiously at the thin figure dressed all in black and shook her head. A week had passed since Subaru had gotten sick.

"So you have."

"Is this where you died?"

She didn't answer and stared at the water in the Sumida River from sitting on the bridge. Subaru struggled to push the last memory of Seishirou from his mind; this place overlooking the river reminded too much of the Rainbow Bridge all those years ago.

"I don't know, maybe. It seems very familiar to me... like the Sakura tree..."

"How old were you, anyways?"

Subaru wondered why he had become so curious about anything since Kioku had appeared.

"I was twenty-five years old."

So she remembered one thing about herself.

"I died two years ago."

Seishirou died two years ago. And she remembered two things about herself. It hit Subaru now that if she had lived, she would be his age exactly.

"You should move on soon," Subaru remarked, shaking those thoughts from his mind.

"Such a callous person..."

Kioku stood too close to the edge and fell. Subaru stared at her for a moment, descending with all the grace of a broken angel. His eyes widened for a moment he jumped and grabbed the ghost's wrist.

"How foolish..." she remarked, "... I'm dead, remember?"

That was a fact Subaru was aware of, along with the fact that he was now falling from the bridge. He closed his eyes.

'Was any one soul any more significant than another?' he thought.

"How do you know that nobody cares about you?" Kioku stared at Subaru, "Someone can't be an anonymous person to everyone."

Subaru looked mildly surprised. It took a moment or two to answer, considering he was more concerned with getting back up onto a more level area of the bridge to stand on. Once he found stable footing, he realized that he was no longer holding Kioku's wrist. She was sitting on the bridge next to where he stood, staring at the water. The brilliance of the sun setting turned them into black silhouettes.

"Can I stay with you a little longer?"

"Why?"

"Sakurazuka Seishirou killed me..." Kioku said in a hollow voice, "but he didn't bury me beneath the Sakura. I told him I was the last person he would kill."

This was rather unexpected, Subaru thought. The empty look in her eyes... they looked familiar. Like Seishirou's perhaps? Or like his own...?

"He told me that there was someone like me... he killed me because I reminded him of that person."

Subaru's eyes were wide. But he could have sworn he closed them... He lit a cigarette and exhaled. She watched the smoke from his mouth float in the rain-cleansed air.

"My answer's still the same," he said, "Whatever you wish."

It was the most sincere look Kioku had ever seen on Subaru's face. And it was the closest she ever come to smiling.

* * *

Author: That High Moon Urn from xxxHOLIC vol 5 is the same vase retrieved in Legal Drug vol...2? 


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